It was the morning of 9-2-98 Micheal drove me to Barrow and we checked in to pre-op. Some things you never forget.  My dad had given me a shirt that said don’t forget your dad loves you and it had his photo on the front so I made sure I was wearing that so he could see before they made me change into the gown  (part of me now believes he was fearful I wouldn’t remember who he was so  he was sure this would help.  I guess it was easier for him to go cope and not have to share his emotions out loud).

We were told to go up stairs to pre op.  Checked in and I met my Nurse Jan.  It was awesome. Her section was filled with angels all around. 19 years ago they were allowed to decorate their area.  I’m being serious I will never forget it.

Like many awaiting surgery family and friends came to say hello wishing me a successful surgery giving me those hugs and kisses that supported me but really helping them cope.  It seemed even in the midst of my battle I was having to be strong for those struggling with the not knowing what to say or expect.  That was ok because that is what I was good at.

In this blog, I want to be real because families need to know there are no directions to this journey and everyone is different.  Sometimes different means “CRAZY”.   My dad was late I kept wondering where my dad was he and I are super close and he wasn’t there yet he was always early.  Besides I had to change and wanted him to see I was wearing my shirt. I  later learned my step mom was causing conflict for him because she was upset he was sharing too much attention towards me.  Yes sad and utterly insane but 19 years time goes on and well It’s not a brain tumor so like FROZEN  “LET IT GO”.  I only share to say even I was not immune from crazy HA HA.  Oh far from immune stay tuned for the book someday.  It will take a book to share all the stories but it would be a best seller for sure.

So the story continues:  Dr. Walters came to the room and said it was time and asked if I had any questions. I did not. She gave me a photo of a tree what was a table plant only 6 years earlier.  She said I know you are going to be just fine your grandma’s tree is still alive.  ( the plant was a gift my family gave her because she gave such great care to my grandma who was diagnosed with a GBM after Dr. Walters performed grandmas brain surgery.)  It was time.  I remember being rolled down to the doors that I today see many patients enter “Do Not Enter staff only beyond this point” my kiss from Michael and my father and off I went.  The last I recall was being scooted over to the surgery bed and a few other adjustments the medical team made and then I heard  Ms Lanette can you count backward starting with the number ten? Sure. Ten, nine, eight, sevvvvnnn…